Do you want next year to bring your increased sales, connections, fulfillment and success?

Ten Ways you Can Create Massive Success Next Year:

1. Get clear about what it is you really want to accomplish in the upcoming year. This means sit quietly, alone and think. Listen to your heart, your intuition and your gut and gain clarity. That is the first step, and the one that most people miss.

2. Make a list of all the goals and objectives you want to meet in your personal and professional life. Remember, goals and objectives should be answerable with a simple yes or no. You either met them or you did not. They are not airy fairy things that you answer “sort-of” to. As a business owner, you need sales goals at the very least.

3. Determine how you are going to network, build your list and attract more traffic to your online business or your bricks and mortar location. Traffic, list building and your platform are the keys to conversion rate (how many people buy your products or services) and, if you don’t have enough, you will not hit your sales goals.

4. Find an accountability program, coach or group to be part of. The funny thing is, when I launched The Social Business Academy, the first thing people asked is “Will we still have a private forum on Facebook?”. If you are a business owner, you need to be surrounded by like-minded people to keep you energized and focused on your goals. And, if you are a creative type like me, you need accountability to get things done – hence the program or coach. This is the ultimate way to fast track your results if you are serious about growing your business.

5. Map out time in your calendar for yourself. Most people start a business because they want freedom, and then they fail to create any freedom for themselves. Instead, they create a job rather than a business and work themselves to death. By planning time in your calendar and working with someone to hold you accountable, you will see not only a shift in your business but also in your life.

6. Get clear on all the things you need to measure for progress and make a point of scheduling time to look at those numbers once a month. It kills me to hear about people who waited until the end of the year to see how they did. That is not how you run a business. Your financial acumen, ability to read, interpret and strategize your business results is imperative.

7. Reverse engineer those goals and objectives. Take a look at each one, break it apart and identify what action you need to take in order to make it happen. Then, set quarterly milestones so you do not get overwhelmed by all there is to do in your business.

8. Take time to read, learn and invest in yourself. We have all heard the expression “Work ON your business, not IN your business” and the only way you, as the leader of your business, can become a better leader, strategist and visionary is to work on yourself first.

9. Take a look at your brand – the brand of you, and your business. Make a plan to behave in the manner that you wish others to perceive you starting immediately. Do not minimize the importance of brand and personal appearance. We make impressions on others all the time by the way we look. Dress your best, and take time for proper grooming. It does make a difference. The same is true for the impressions you make on Social Media sites. Are you positive, upbeat and acting as a leader? Or, are you getting caught up in the negative and diminishing the brand of you without even realizing it?

10. Blog, if you don’t already. Blogging is one of the best ways to share new information with your list, and to position yourself as a thought leader. Learn all the different ways to blog, vlog, and leverage that content into other areas of your business.

One of the reasons I love what I do so much is I walk the talk that I teach my clients. I will be teaching people how to do these things and more in The Social Business Academy. The Academy is the perfect place for entrepreneurs who are passionate about learning to ignite success in their business.

What other ways do you create success at the start of a new year?

Most of the time, the fear of success is subconscious. As such it has much power. When the enemy is unknown it can stab you in the back. When you shed the light of awareness over it you can rationally examine it, face it, debate it and dismiss it or use my SCT (Sabotage Correction Technique) to remove it.

In my years of practice I found quite a few flavors and sub-flavors of the fear of success.

A lot of people are subconsciously and even consciously afraid of the responsibilities that come with success. They are afraid success would take away too much time from fun, recreation and social activities. They fear that the time required achieving (and maintaining) success would interfere with their quality of life. They’ll have less time to sleep, exercise, and eat right or play. They may lose sleep worrying about losing it all.

And it is much more painful crashing down from a high place.

Another common fear is that once successful they’ll get a lot of unwanted attention. They’ll feel pressure to fulfill too high of expectations either from themselves or from others to always exceed their current success. People would expect from their successful friends or relatives to help them out financially or otherwise.

I find that people are subconsciously blocking their success as they fear it is lonely up there. They are afraid to lose their friends. The friends may be resentful, or jealous, or feel intimidated. I had a patient who was afraid that her wealth would intimidate potential suitors. She was also afraid that people would marry her for her money and not for who she is.

I had a patient who subconsciously did not exceed the amount of money his father made. He was subconsciously afraid of the father’s retaliation. Another person felt her father’s love comes to her in the form of financial support and subconsciously was afraid to lose his love should she be financially independent.

A lot of artistic people live with the Archetype of the Starving Artist. They are subconsciously convinced that commercial success will compromise their art and authenticity.

And then there is the spiritual angle: People are afraid that financial success would corrupt them, make them greedy and attached to material things. Some have the concept that their wealth is at the expense of all the millions who are starving. A patient of mine had the subconscious belief that once wealthy he’ll stop being humble and modest and will be more egotistic, selfish and full of himself.

Another common fear is the fear of the unknown. Being successful is unfamiliar and therefore frightening. Along the same line, in order to be successful they’ll have to step out of their comfort zone.

In my practice, after removing self sabotage to being happy in general, I use Energy Muscle Testing (EMT) to check sabotage to success. I keep being surprised by more and more types and varieties of the fear of success. As we are able to detect and then remove the sabotage using my SCT, people are gradually able to stop standing in their own way and start achieving more and more financial and career success.

We ran out of time on the show for all the steps, so they videotaped me talking through it so that they could post the action plan on their website.

These coping strategies can be used also for Anger Management and Anxiety.

Click here, forward to someone you love, and try some of these techniques for yourself……..they work!

During speaking engagements this past spring in Florida, Chicago and Los Angeles, I used the opportunity to talk about the title of the book, which offers so much rich wisdom about embracing the wealth of knowledge that is embedded and revealed in our experiences. These talks inspired me to think about how we actually transform adversity into our advantage. What are we actually thinking, feeling and doing to successfully transcend turbulent times in our lives?

I reflected upon my own personal experience and recalled what I have witnessed with clients as they ultimately find and utilize the “gold” in their story, inspiring profound insights and greater fulfillment in their lives. I call this process The “F.A.T” formula. It brings new meaning to this word as it strengthens vs. disempowers.

The formula is really quite clear and straightforward. Whether you got a flat tire, felt rejected by a partner, got laid off from your job or are facing challenging health issues, this offers a sure path to greener pastures.

“F” stands for Feel The Feelings Fully:

In our Western culture, we often do everything we can to avoid feeling pain. We deny it, dismiss it, minimize it, distract ourselves from it and project our unwanted feelings onto others. But the truth is, what we resist persists. So this first step is to acknowledge and attend to the entire range of feelings that you may experience when facing hardship of any kind. Do you feel sad, angry, anxious, insecure, jealous, hopeless, disappointed? The way to move through it is not to avoid it, but rather to acknowledge it by expressing your truth and by treating yourself with loving kindness, compassion and patience. After working with clients for close to two decades, I am certain that most of our suffering does not lie in circumstance, but rather in how we treat ourselves in the face of circumstance.

In the first step, your affirmation to remember and repeat is:

“I feel what I feel at this present moment.”

“A” stands for Accept the Situation Fully:

In the first step, as we fully accept and express our feelings, we also let go of any and all debilitating judgment or shame about it.

What often prolongs the distress of any situation is our attempt to deny, fix, fight, control or wish it away. When we move into full acceptance of “what is” it frees up our psychic energy, heals our heart and leads us into a more peaceful state of mind.

Oprah Winfrey re-iterated a powerful reminder, from an unknown source, of how full acceptance can lead us into forgiving others and ourselves: “Forgiveness is giving up hope that the past could have been any different.”

The Serenity prayer is also a common favorite, as it shares so beautifully a perspective that is grounded in clear reason, peaceful resolution and accountability:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”

In this second step of acceptance your affirmation to remember and repeat is:

“It is what it is.”

This releases us from the burdensome shackles that have weighed us down and held us back from moving forward. It holds a space for the possibility of transformation — the third and final step in the “F.A.T.” formula.

“T” stands for Transform & Transcend the Trauma:

In doing so, we make a conscious choice and commitment to transform the bummers into blessings, and the challenges into celebrations.

This is where your light shines its brightest, as you choose to use everything you have experienced as part of your classroom of life. It requires a perceptual shift to find the buried treasures, the blessings in disguise and the hidden pearls. Perhaps a painful breakup can awaken more insight into who you are and what you want, need and deserve in a partner. A physical illness or loss may inspire you to let go of sweating the small stuff or to advocate for others facing similar challenges. Regardless what it is, in this stage you have the power and potential to transform your disappointment into something positive, for your highest good and for the good of all others. This stage also motivates us to face, challenge and transcend our fears, which has cleverly been described as “false evidence appearing real.”

In this third “transformational” step of the “F.A.T.” formula, your affirmation to remember and repeat is:

“I am the most powerful change agent in my life.”

I’m sure you know some people who wallow in the feeling stage, prolonging their perception of “victimization,” which ultimately creates a sense of hopelessness, futility, bitterness and powerlessness. This can become a toxic handicap that prevents our ability to rise above adversity and let go of the past. We may also know what it feels like to camp out at the “acceptance stage” for an extended period of time. Regardless, I encourage us all to honor the space where we are and the pace at which we or someone we care about chooses to walk though these stages. If someone is mourning someone they love, for example, it would not be helpful for us to tell them to, “Snap out of it, accept it and just be happy you had quality time with them.” That person needs to be in their “feeling” stage for as long as they feel they need to be.

What this formula offers and reminds us of is that we do have the opportunity to turn lemons into lemonade. And when in doubt of its possibility, just think of those you admire most. My most favorite example is Nelson Mandela who, after spending 27 years in a prison, chose to lead one of the most powerful peace and freedom movements of all time.

If we follow these steps, when facing challenges we will surely transform what can feel like breakdowns into our biggest breakthroughs. Begin to practice this formula when facing anything uncomfortable. And please do share with us the magic and miracles that are sure to follow.

Wygant Productions Women’s Seminar
Los Angeles November, 2009

This is perhaps the most fundamental question, and warrants serious thought and consideration. To “Know Thyself” means knowing not only who you are, but also what you want.

For the purpose of discovering and keeping the love you find, I am suggesting that you laser focus on the qualities that you seek in a partner for life. What are your negotiables and what are your non-negotiables? This deserves your time to really go inward and contemplate. You will get what you expect.

Some non-negotiables I believe should be universally required for optimal relationship bliss are as follows:

• Intrinsic Goodness, Kindness
• Honesty, Integrity, Reliability, Trustworthiness
• Respect for Self, Partner and Others
• Generosity of Spirit, Loving
• Respect, Acceptance and Tolerance of Differences
• Expressive both Verbally and Physically
• Sexual Attraction (this is what separates friends from lovers)
• Shared Values & Vision (Carbon copy not necessary, just compatible “enough”)
• Ability & Desire to Integrate (versus separate or dictate)
• Flexibility with Change in Self and Partner Over Time
• Capacity for Self Reflection and Growth
• Positive Outlook and Disposition
• Financially Responsible
• You Love, Adore, Cherish, and Celebrate Each Other

When these elements are in place, there is so much potential for partnership to enhance a sense of ease and joy in your life. From this point of departure, all curve balls (and there will be some) can be handled together with faith, resiliency and love.

Your “wants” may change a bit over time — and give yourself room and permission for that — but the aspects listed above are tried and true. Integrate and anchor them to your vision because you…are worth it.

But here’s what’s so cool to remember about what we learn……it cannot be forgotten! Each new understanding, acknowledgement, “aha” is safely archived in our consciousness. It is there for our keeping and reference whenever we want or need to call it forth. So….just know that every lesson learned is like a cell of consciousness that is embedded in our being. It is ours and cannot ever be taken away. Revel in that one for a while…..you’ll feel quite wise after all the cumulative learnings you’ve collected along the way! And what’s even cooler….is there is no ceiling or limit…..it just keeps comin…….

“It was great” she exclaimed…..”I was really proud of my performance!”

When my sister got on the phone I told her how amazing I thought it was that my niece, at an age when young girls are dimming their light to be accepted and not perceived as “conceited”…….. could really celebrate and acknowledge herself. She told me something that I vowed to share with as many parents as possible. She said…

“When my kids were small I made a conscious decision to never say ‘I’m proud of you’…….I always have said to them……’You must be so proud of yourself.”

Isn’t that FABULOUS? It helps children realize from a young age that their true compass and locus of approval and love always lies within.

I’ve been spreading this parenting tip and will continue to share its wisdom. It’s actually a wonderful reminder to us all.

When was the last time you gave yourself ……as our First Tuesday South Bay Coordinator Lisa Greenfield refers to it…..some “Toothbrush love” in the mirror?

Be proud of who you are.

Be proud that you are even here.

That makes you a living miracle.

1): FROM MERGER TO INTEGRATION:

MAKE ROOM FOR “I”: Your partner fell in love with YOU, not “we.” No offense to Jerry Maguire, but the goal is not for your partner to “complete” you. It’s about being connected AND separate. It is from this place that we connect with our inner source of love within, allowing for greater flow to share with our lover. Our partnership then enhances our life versus defining it.

MAKE ROOM FOR “WE”

Integration is also about transitioning from being totally self-focused, into making room for partnership that requires loving consideration on a daily basis. It’s about creating a win/win formula to living a wonderful life together.

ALLOW ROOM FOR GROWTH

Sometimes communication can become stagnant or we feel stuck, while our partner is soaring…or we can be fixed in how we see them. Nothing is static in life. Everything changes. We must allow room for Personal, Partner and Collective Growth. To fully integrate, anticipation and support for a fluid personal and collective growth process is essential for optimal happiness together.

2): FROM NEGLECT TO NURTURING:

“I CHOOSE US” After the infatuation wears off, many of us know what it feels like to start focusing on the disappointments and “sweating the small stuff.” Next time, affirm to one another…”I choose us.” See how quickly it can transform where you put your attention and priorities, and experience how much more intimacy and joy springs forth.

FOCUS ON HAVES Versus Have Nots. Energy goes where energy flows. Remember why you fell in love…and why you chose your beloved. Love is a feeling, but being in love is a feeling we have about the person AND the relationship. It needs to be nurtured and revitalized to keep romance alive and evolving. Focus on what you have, and it will expand.

FROM ROUTINE TO RE-KINDLING: “Small Graces” are the little ways we show kindness, respect, admiration and consideration for one another. If you want to get back the juice in your relationship, give and receive these small graces every day. What do you know that makes your partner feel seen and loved? Whether it’s flowers, a card “just because,” a massage, a brief squeeze/kiss/look in the eye, doing an errand just for them, calling just to tell them you love them, surprises, a candlelit dinner, or anything else under the sun…do it…they’ll be so happy you did and so will you. On the flip side, call in your receiving energy, so that you can openly, gracefully and joyfully receive their grace notes to you as well. In doing so, you are nourished and give back to them the joy of giving.

3): FROM KEEPING SCORE TO GIVING MORE

Taking on the role of martyr by always giving and requiring nothing in return is not the answer. But when you have two people loving and giving from a place of pure love and no other….magic happens.

BE TBE THE CHANGE you want to see in your relationship. If you want more of “something” in a relationship, start with giving what you want to receive. If you want more patience, be patient. If you want more affection….express your love more demonstratively. Watch what happens.

4): FROM HURTING TO HEALING:

Good partnership offers a mirror for personal growth. After all, who knows us better than who we live with? When there is conflict, which is inevitable in most relationships, there is so much that you can use for your individual and collective advantage. Every perceived “problem” is a wonderful opportunity for growth, and to break through if you choose to use it.

FROM COMPLAINING TO COMMUNICATING

When we push down feelings, what we resist persists. What we bottle it up will blow eventually. Try this very effective exercise when experiencing conflict with your partner: Each person talks one at a time, answering the central question “What was your experience?” The idea isn’t for one to convince the other that he/she is “right.” It’s about fixing the problem, not about blame. That requires active listening, which is about hearing what the person you love experienced. You don’t have to agree with their perceptions to empathize. Your ability to see and feel from your beloved’s perspective, and he to yours, is very powerful. It builds greater trust that you can confront an initially challenging situation together and get to a higher ground of profound healing.

TAKING OWNERSHIP:

Self-Directed Versus Other Directed: This involves our power to make ourselves whole and happy, rather than holding others responsible for that. Whenever you hear yourself saying, “You are making me miserable and it is your fault because….”…..these are clues that you detoured from the inter-dependent track onto a co-dependent one. There is a difference between healthy reliance and debilitating dependence.

The Art of Apology & Power of Forgiveness: This is about our capacity for self-reflection and the ability to release resentments or any desire for retribution. When we can look our beloved in the eyes with a genuine expression of apology and/or forgiveness, it builds a strong foundation made up of deep trust, understanding and resiliency.

5): FROM BUBBLE TO BIG PICTURE:

There is a Kabbalistic teaching that when relationships are linear, their focus is on the energy between them going back and forth. This often creates stagnation, boredom, and a desire for outside distractions. The teaching suggests that partnering with a higher level of consciousness means that we understand that this union is not just “about us.” Enlightened and strong partnerships utilize the relationship to be in service for the greater good. Instead of the exclusive focus on two individuals, the “union” includes connection to the “Light of the Creator.” This enhances the foundation of each individual, strengthening the couple’s bond, while empowering this partnership to spread its goodwill to others. Thus, the partnership becomes a vibrant participant dedicated to the wellbeing of all living things. This nourishes both individuals and brings them home…rekindling the divine spark that brought them together in the first place.

When you find yourself thinking, feeling or acting in a way that is not in alignment with who you really are…. stop….pause…and make a conscious decision to tap into that sweet spot within you; the place that knows the truth and sees the divinity in yourself and in every living thing around you. Take a breath….look back….and revel in how different the same situation feels.