It was hard to imagine how such a handsome, bright, accomplished 50 year old man could have lived his life so much in pain, anguish, and thoughts of not living at all . . . but he had. During “Gary’s” first visit to see me, he said that his life had been full of chronic melancholy and pent up anger inside of himself that would often come out as disturbing and dangerous road rage.
He declared that he was ready to free himself from this struggle. Our work together was about encouraging him to continue to self-reflect about the belief system he had carried about himself that was full of critical and self-defeating messages, setting him up to consistently “fail” in his mind.
We focused on his strengths, upped the volume on his truth, and supported him as he learned to finally treat the child and the grown man within himself with understanding, patience and compassion. I was taken with his honesty and receptivity to incorporate new ways of thinking and treating himself in the face of whatever life was to bring.
On Good Friday, he was driving on a Los Angeles freeway per usual. There were six lanes of traffic, separated by a median. He was on the far left lane and saw a truck driving directly toward him. In a split second he two clear thoughts came to him: “I want to live” and “Which way should I go to do so?”
His instinct was to remain in his lane , and so he did. Seconds later the truck hit the car to his right.
Gary was the first to assist. He approached the truck driver who had fallen asleep at the wheel and appeared to be ok. He then went to the car that was struck, only to find a man at the steering wheel, a bit younger then he, who had instantly lost his life in the accident.
As Gary shared this story with me during our next session days later, he talked about this moment as an awakening to his transparent and strong will to live. He shared his humility and grace in his belief that he was chosen to stay, while bearing witness to a fellow traveler whose time it was to transition.
He spoke with absolute clarity about his “ignorance and indulgence in feeling sorry for myself all these years.” This was followed by days of tears … the good kind … the ones that truly wash away the rubble and toxic waste of the past and move us into our divinity.
As he was speaking with me about this profound, life altering and defining moment in his life, he sounded like a true “sage”… typically known to be a mentor in spiritual and philosophical topics who is renowned for profound wisdom.
I just bid farewell to Gary on his route back to Europe to live. He had been on a spiritual journey for quite sometime. I just had the privilege to bear witness to a big leap in his consciousness . . . one that I know will nourish him forever and bless the life of others he encounters.
From Student to Sage … those were the moments we spent together.
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